5/3
I woke at 8 on the day of wedding, ate a bowl of oatmeal, and took a shower. The church needed to be opened at 9 for the girls to begin make up and for the flowers to get delivered. So I buzzed up there to unlock the place and help Burklands get the flowers inside.
Then I went back home to get into my monkey suit. I was ready before Dad & Travis and used my extra time to organize all the crap I brought home to prepare for another round of packing. Mom came back from her hair appointment late and without any smiles. She didn’t like her hair.
Pictures on the big day began at 11 o’clock with me. The plan was for Mom, Dad, Travis & I to drive to the church together to minimize the number of cars. I really wanted to get to the church before 11 but Mom was still getting ready at quarter till. So Travis and I took my car up to the church and ended up leaving it there after the ceremony to pick up on the next day.
Our photographer was already at the church and ready to go. All of “my guys” were there so we were able to start right away and knock out photos of me and all the men. That is we were able to do that after we all got our corsages on our lapels. I’m convinced that men do not posses the ability to pin flowers on anything. I got a handful of solo shots and then one or two with each groomsmen and usher. I believe we also took some shots of my family and I at this time.
Then Beth & I were supposed to take our pictures together. This was a decision we deliberated for a long time and decided that we could get to the reception more quickly after the wedding. However the plan was slightly altered when Beth decided she wanted to take her photos first and then us together. So I went down stairs to join the guys hovering around Subway subs and cookies. Eventually Andrew’s Wii got set up to kill some more time. Erich had my camera this time and was playing around with my 50mm lens. He took some great photos.
I was called upstairs after the girls were done. I had told the photographer about a photo I seen online of the groom with the bride behind him before they saw each other. We recreated that when I stood near the altar and Beth came out from the sacristy. We loved on each other and talked for a few minutes as Belinda shot us. Then we proceeded to knock out many photos of us, families, wedding party and more. We finished up shortly after one o’clock as the the servers, organist, and other people helping with the wedding started showing up.
We spent some more time downstairs sitting and around and bullshitting before the guys and I went upstairs to stand in the sacristy before the ceremony. The time we spent in there didn’t seem nearly as long as when we waited for Justin & Hilary’s wedding. That very well could be because we weren’t up there as long. That would make sense.
Then the blur began.
We walked straight out of the sacristy, hung a right after the altar, and made a big banana as we lined up to meet our ladies. We debated about taking photos before because we didn’t want to ruin the moment we first saw each other. It definitely wasn’t as special as a moment as it would have been if I hadn’t seen her but I had that moment earlier in the day and didn’t have to share it with an entire church. Nevertheless, she was all smiles as her and Paul walked up. Their carefree, and almost relaxed look set the mood for the day.
I must admit that I was a little disappointed that Father didn’t include any direct insight about Beth & I in the sermon. It was a fine sermon but not very personal. Like he said the night before, I’m not going to remember it anyway.
During mass I looked up and noticed the ceiling fans were not on. I imagined my Mom sweating behind me just as I was under my tux. The fans never got turned on and everyone survived.
Our receiving line was comprised of Beth & I, Mary Ann & Paul, and Mom & Dad. I didn’t want the entire wedding party because it is already awkward enough for the people that know the largest percentage of the crowd. Why should we make strangers hug and act like they know each other? I was the first person in the line and was given the incredibly difficult task of deciding hug or handshake? Most of the time it was obvious and hugs won. The gray areas were young, female cousins. I have no problem hugging them but some were reserved about it. I nearly everyone. I couldn’t tell you the names of The Meyer’s neighbors but I at least knew what category they fit in.
The line didn’t take very long at all. I just realized I didn’t step outside and give the usual “Thank you… head to the reception… we’ll be there soon” line because everyone was in their cars due to the wind and lower temps. I wasn’t bothered by that because I was able to jump back inside and knock out the few pictures we had to take yet. Beth & I decided to take some shots outside which I think will turn out pretty good. I would have loved to have had many more taken but it was really chilly.
We would have loved to have had a limo rented for the party to ride to Teutopolis but we decided that the price wasn’t worth the short drive. If we were inconsiderate and went bar hopping for a few hours, then we could have justified the cost more than we could have with a twenty minute drive. Justin & Hilary drove Beth & I in their Explorer. Travis & Andy took Beth’s car so we would have that to escape in later. Everyone else was on their own. As “uncool” as it was, it made things easier for everyone.
On the way there we saw our photographer take a turn towards the Knights of Columbus hall in Effingham instead of Teutopolis. She made it to T-Town with plenty of time to spare.
There wasn’t as many people at the reception as we had figured there would have been. Apparently many people went other places. I don’t blame them because it usually takes a long time for the wedding party to arrive during a standard Catholic mass. We were unique and didn’t take many photos after or go to the bar. We still enjoyed the extra time we got at the reception as everyone trickled in before the meal. (It was important for us to list the time of the meal in the invitation because I have always found people asking when the food was coming at other weddings. )
Wrangling up everyone to make an announced entrance was the most difficult part of the day. First Beth & I had to decide if we were going to announce parents. We decided to include them which meant we had to find them. It easily took 10 minutes to get all four back there. I would send someone in and then not hear from them as they were searching.
Once announced and inside, Beth & I began mingling with as many people as we could, mostly separated. There were some groups and people that we talked to together but we usually divided as we conquered the crowd. I enjoyed catching up with my aunts and cousins, high school friends I hadn’t seen since our reunion or graduation, and high school classmates of Beth’s I hadn’t seen in many years either. Those friends spending their day with us really meant a lot to us both.
The place filled up nicely before the 5:30 meal. At that time Beth & I found the wedding party and their dates so we could all sit down together. Beth’s Uncle Charlie took the mic, instructed everyone to sit down, and said a prayer. The buffet lines began and food was brought to us at the head tables as well as the two tables to our side where our parents, grandparents, and some aunts and uncles were seated. There was a little confusion about how Beth & I’s food was supposed to get to our table. I thought that the servers may bring it to us directly but we had to turn around and pull off the table behind us. It wasn’t a big deal. The food was better than normal, cold fried chicken but still not that amazing. The pork must have been pulled off the top of the pile and was very dry. I suspect that the chafing dishes had much better product. The green been casserole also didn’t have a crunchy top. I survived.
As the last guests were sitting down to eat and other eager people were going for round two, the microphone was handed to my brother so he could give his speech that I know was making him very nervous days before the wedding. I was told in the weeks prior that my sister and dad helped him with what he planned on saying. As I think about my own public speaking experience, I don’t recall ever speaking to a group as large as the wedding at the age of 16. My biggest crowd was for my high school graduation speech, next being a wedding mass. It is needless to say that he was very nervous to be speaking in front of so many people. It was hard to hear him and I doubt many others heard him but he speech was really good. It was short and poignant. Holly had a few points scribbled on a napkin for her speech. Her words were funny and heartfelt. Beth & I were very lucky to have them both. I hopped on afterwards for a short thank you where I got all blubbery when I thought about all of friends and family together for us. Beth started her time on the mic with a song that she sings with her kids at work that annoys the hell out of me. “We are going to the libary, We are going to the library… People say ‘sssshhhh’ and the library…”. It was very cute and different.
After that our small army of cousins distributed cupcakes to the entire room. We had a white cake with sprinkles on top and the one I requested was a chocolate cake made with orange that had no sprinkles. I’m not entirely sure I dig the chocolate and orange taste but I did enjoy having something different.
Mingling resumed after the desert. At around 6:50 I looked around and saw everyone talked with each other and realized I didn’t want the dance to begin in ten minutes. So after talking with Erich, where he reassured me I could do whatever I wanted to do, we pushed the dance back a half hour. It was a great decision because the mood changes so much once a dance starts.
The DJ duties were being taken care of by a guy Beth actually knew from high school and one of my best men, Erich. Both work for the DJ company. Alec (or is ix Alex?) was going to do most of work and Erich was scheduled to pop in and assist, make suggestions, etc.
Around 7:30 I found my bride, the lights dimmed, and we danced to Ryan Adam’s song “When the Stars Go Blue”, a song covered by Tim McGraw and many others but written and originally performed by Ryan Adams.
The rest of the dance went extremely well. We didn’t have to plead for people to come and dance with us during the dollar dance(s). The music was exactly what I wanted to hear. Beth’s bouquet toss went very well. (I always hate when brides throw it way to short.) Highlights for me were The Darkness’ “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” towards the end. Right before it played he gave a little into about how it was a unique song but also lovely. I told him that I thought at that moment he was going to play “Fuck her Gently” by Tenacious D!
At the end of the scheduled time Erich asked me what I wanted to finish up with. I couldn’t think of anything specific but wanted to end on a slow song because it gives everyone an opportunity to dance one more time with their partner. Basically I knew it would fill the floor. Since I couldn’t come up with anything particular he told me he would decide on something.
Minutes later the song was announced and the familiar notes of Dave Matthews Band’s “Crash Into Me” started filling me with emotion. My friend had picked the most perfect song, at least for me, to end with. I had mentioned the song to Beth weeks prior but we nixed it from the “Must Play” list due to its unique content. Nevertheless, Erich & Alec played this song and was like the juicy cherry on the top of my night. As soon as I realized what it was I looked over at Erich and almost cried, but not because it was a song that made me think of Beth or blah blah. But rather because my friend either got extremely lucky with a guess or knew me that well.
Clean up after the song was chaos. We had to round up all of our table cloths, candles, and bud vases on he table. The owners of the white table cloths were there to pick them up which was a relief. My main concern was getting the projector down and the cables out of the ceiling because I didn’t trust anyone else to get it down and packed along with my MacBook. So I got a ladder and got my stuff down from the ceiling. It thankfully didn’t take too much time. My other main concern was making sure that the clean up process was at least beginning. So I spent a few minutes making sure that everything we needed done was getting done.
I have to take some time and thank all of the family and friends that stuck around and helped clean the place up. I had cousins asking what they could do and aunts already working right before I left. They didn’t have to stay but rolled up their sleeves and took some time to lend a hand. Thank you guys.
Shortly after I got my stuff together, I was scolded to get the hell out of there and that it would all be taken care of. Beth & I grabbed our card box, my computer, the projector and said good bye.
We stayed in Effingham that night at the Hilton Garden Inn. The room was really nice. Usually that means that it large or has a lot of features but this one wasn’t large. It didn’t have a lot of fluff either. Instead it had quality fixtures and pieces. The best feature I noticed was the vanity lights on the sides of the bathroom mirror instead of above. I looked in the mirror the next morning and was blown away by the lack of the harsh shadows that come with the usual layout.
I helped Beth get out of her dress and took a little trip to a happy place we call Steak’n’Shake. Beth & I were both starving and needed to fill a craving. So I picked up two frisco melts (What else would we get?) and high tailed back to open cards with Beth.
I was married.
