You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

My friend Susan’s Facebook status

  1. Simlies like this remind me of “good ole boys” from back home that are always quick to suggest a lady’s buttocks is synonymous with a “turd baler.” 
  2. I was originally going to reply that a stampede of turtles would be funny to see no matter what they were trucking through.
  3. Then I questioned what a group of turtles is called. Google told me the group is referred to a bale or nest.

Source: carrieblog