I haven’t shared nuggets about my life recently. I follow a lot of people on the internet that are able to keep their sharing light and general but I cannot do that because deep social interaction is rare for me. That is hard to admit. Nuggets get built up and eventually my head had a list of topics I feel compelled to share. These topics aren’t substantial enough to write a couple paragraphs about; I just want to tell someone.

I don’t know if I can define what deep social interaction is to me. Some friends in my past and present life are able to have a conversation with me that leaves me satisfied. Not only do they give a shit what I’m doing but they know enough about my life to see the bigger picture. I cannot have a deep conversation with some of them because we have grown apart. The rest have moved away.

There is a hole in my life that needs to be filled with more friends or more interactions with my current friends. I have made very loose connections in Nashville but these are not even close to the substantial relationships I need. I want a group of people to go drinking with and complain about the world. I want a group of cyclists to ride with that match my skills and interest. I want to invite people over to my house so I can cook and entertain them with my many feats of strength. 

I can’t blame the fact that I moved to Nashville because the problem isn’t new. In high school I had many friends but only a few were close to me. My two years at Lake Land were much better. I joined SAB & SGA and because close to many people but I only have stayed in contact with a few. Interaction with the rest has dropped to the brief and pathetic following dialogue. 

“How are you?”

“Good. How are you?”

“Good.”

I had great friends in Carbondale that I had known for years before the move there but I didn’t value their presence until they were gone. I had just moved in with Beth so we were perfectly happy spending our spare time together. Then they left and the town felt empty.

I don’t know how to sum this up besides admitting that I need to work harder.